CSS Mind & Heart Lecture Series x ETP x SA —— “Alone, But Not Lonely” Lecture by Counseling Psychologist Pin-Chieh Lai
Date :
2026-03-30
Department :
College of Social Sciences
【Article by College of Social Sciences】
On March 26, 2026, the College of Social Sciences (CSS) invited counseling psychologist Pin-Chieh Lai from DAO-NAN Clinic to deliver an English lecture titled “Alone, But Not Lonely.” As part of the Mind & Heart Lecture Series, the event was co-organized with the English-Taught Program (ETP) and the NCCU Student Association (NCCUSA). The lecture was moderated by Prof. Yi-Chun Chien, convener of the ETP at the College of Social Sciences. The talk took place at Philosofa and attracted many international and local students, with SA representatives also in attendance.
This lecture explored the psychological distinction between being alone and feeling lonely, arguing that solitude can be a valuable, and even necessary, state rather than a sign of social failure. Drawing on psychological theory, research, and everyday experiences, the speaker reframed how individuals understand their relationships between themselves and others.
A key starting point was the paradox of modern life: despite unprecedented connectivity through smartphones and social media, loneliness remains widespread. A 2025 WHO report indicates that one in six people globally experiences loneliness, with particularly high rates among adolescents. This suggests that increased contact does not necessarily lead to meaningful connection. The lecture emphasized that connection is not equivalent to mere interaction.
Central to the discussion was the distinction between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness was defined as the perceived gap between the level of connection one desires and what one believes one has. It is a subjective emotional state that can occur even in social environments. In contrast, solitude refers to the condition of being alone, which can be neutral or even positive. When chosen rather than imposed, solitude can foster rest, creativity, emotional regulation, and self-awareness.
The lecture introduced the concept of “crowded loneliness,” in which individuals feel disconnected despite being surrounded by others. This highlights that loneliness is not about physical isolation but about unmet relational needs. Conversely, a sense of belonging can exist even without physical presence, through internalized connections to people or communities.
The lecture also explored why solitude can feel difficult. Silence often brings awareness of internal thoughts, emotions, and self-judgments, which may be uncomfortable. Studies show that many people struggle to spend even short periods alone without stimulation, sometimes preferring discomfort over inactivity. Thus, the challenge lies not in solitude itself but in confronting one’s inner world.
From a developmental perspective, the capacity to be alone was framed as a sign of emotional maturity. Drawing on psychoanalytic theory, the speaker explained that this capacity develops through early experiences of secure relationships. When individuals internalize a sense of being cared for, they can feel “not alone even when alone.” Without such foundations, people may rely excessively on external validation and constant interaction.
Importantly, the lecture cautioned that solitude is not inherently beneficial. When driven by avoidance, fear, or social withdrawal, it may negatively impact mental health. The goal is not to increase isolation but to cultivate a healthy relationship with oneself.
Ultimately, the lecture concluded that one’s relationship with oneself shapes all other relationships. Developing the ability to be alone—comfortably and compassionately—is essential for emotional stability, self-understanding, and authentic connection with others. Solitude, when appropriately embraced, becomes not emptiness but a space in which the self can be heard.
On March 26, 2026, the College of Social Sciences (CSS) invited counseling psychologist Pin-Chieh Lai from DAO-NAN Clinic to deliver an English lecture titled “Alone, But Not Lonely.” As part of the Mind & Heart Lecture Series, the event was co-organized with the English-Taught Program (ETP) and the NCCU Student Association (NCCUSA). The lecture was moderated by Prof. Yi-Chun Chien, convener of the ETP at the College of Social Sciences. The talk took place at Philosofa and attracted many international and local students, with SA representatives also in attendance.
This lecture explored the psychological distinction between being alone and feeling lonely, arguing that solitude can be a valuable, and even necessary, state rather than a sign of social failure. Drawing on psychological theory, research, and everyday experiences, the speaker reframed how individuals understand their relationships between themselves and others.
A key starting point was the paradox of modern life: despite unprecedented connectivity through smartphones and social media, loneliness remains widespread. A 2025 WHO report indicates that one in six people globally experiences loneliness, with particularly high rates among adolescents. This suggests that increased contact does not necessarily lead to meaningful connection. The lecture emphasized that connection is not equivalent to mere interaction.
Central to the discussion was the distinction between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness was defined as the perceived gap between the level of connection one desires and what one believes one has. It is a subjective emotional state that can occur even in social environments. In contrast, solitude refers to the condition of being alone, which can be neutral or even positive. When chosen rather than imposed, solitude can foster rest, creativity, emotional regulation, and self-awareness.
The lecture introduced the concept of “crowded loneliness,” in which individuals feel disconnected despite being surrounded by others. This highlights that loneliness is not about physical isolation but about unmet relational needs. Conversely, a sense of belonging can exist even without physical presence, through internalized connections to people or communities.
The lecture also explored why solitude can feel difficult. Silence often brings awareness of internal thoughts, emotions, and self-judgments, which may be uncomfortable. Studies show that many people struggle to spend even short periods alone without stimulation, sometimes preferring discomfort over inactivity. Thus, the challenge lies not in solitude itself but in confronting one’s inner world.
From a developmental perspective, the capacity to be alone was framed as a sign of emotional maturity. Drawing on psychoanalytic theory, the speaker explained that this capacity develops through early experiences of secure relationships. When individuals internalize a sense of being cared for, they can feel “not alone even when alone.” Without such foundations, people may rely excessively on external validation and constant interaction.
Importantly, the lecture cautioned that solitude is not inherently beneficial. When driven by avoidance, fear, or social withdrawal, it may negatively impact mental health. The goal is not to increase isolation but to cultivate a healthy relationship with oneself.
Ultimately, the lecture concluded that one’s relationship with oneself shapes all other relationships. Developing the ability to be alone—comfortably and compassionately—is essential for emotional stability, self-understanding, and authentic connection with others. Solitude, when appropriately embraced, becomes not emptiness but a space in which the self can be heard.